It’s no secret that I love my home. My roots are here. For twelve years, I’ve lived in the same house, never leaving for more than a couple of weeks at a time. I love this town and all of its weird and wonderful people. I love my Kansas fields and Kansas skies; the greenest greens and bluest blues speak to my heart, and the wide, open hugeness of the sky gives my mind rest. And I believe in staying— it putting down roots, in loving one’s people, and in sticking around, even in restlessness.
But I also believe in going. And now is my time to go.
In just a few days, I’ll be leaving home for ten weeks, traveling 1,300 miles and working + growing alongside 60 other college students who are pursuing Jesus and eager to share Him with the world.
The emotions that come with this are everything from extreme excitement to slight anxiety to petty fear. But I am coming to see how life comes in seasons, and this is a new one in mine. It is a season for new things, and for bidding old things goodbye.
Truth be told, I’m not too good with change. The things I love, I love fiercely— my home, my family, my people. I'm leaving them. And I’m kissing goodbye to a season of nannying a two-year-old that has impacted me profoundly, and it hurts. But I think the words of this little boy’s mom said it best:
“Each season in life is passing; it’ll never be just as it was again. You may never spend every M-W-F a.m. with a small red-head again. But you’ve lived in the season, you’ve loved well, and because of that, it’s yours to keep always— those good and beautiful gifts of love are eternal treasures.”
These words hit me so hard. They were so bittersweet— just acknowledging that a season is passing, but also, that it did happen, and it was lived well. I’m beginning to understand just what it means to love; that it is to be vulnerable and often means that we feel more pain... and also more joy. Boy, do I love all of my Kansas People.
But boy, do I love Jesus, too! As bittersweet as it is to see the end of a season, I have full confidence for this season ahead, because it’s all about following and knowing and sharing Jesus. Not just with my Kansas People but with the people of the whole world. It will mean relying on Him in the unfamiliarity of Florida and the new adventures ahead.
He is going to do BIG things, and I am honored to be used in His story.
All glory to Him.
Lovely post, pretty much sums up all the feels of everyone's graduation and moving on. And, much excitement for your future! Can't wait to hear all the stories.
ReplyDeleteyour words! i know how it is. leaving my first year of college in the past was bittersweet, but it was a season, an adventure, and it was lived. and as you said, "lived well." this is beautiful and so is your heart. ;) xx
ReplyDeleteLindsey! You're leaving so soon! You are going to have the time of your life! I cannot wait to hear about all the fun things you experience! Much love!
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Sarah
I feel you. it is all bittersweet. I am not too good with new beginnings, but I am learning to be. the best to you and embracing it all! x
ReplyDeleteThese are difficult things to do, but sometimes they need to be done. And they are worth it. Godspeed, lovely. <3
ReplyDeleteDefinitely can relate to these feelings. After moving multiple times the past few years from college to college, I can truly say those moments helped define who I am now today. Jesus is going to do amazing things.
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