"Grace beyond imaginings can fall into open hands." Ann Voskamp
So much of life is push and pull, up and down, expectations met with reality. Seasons are always changing, lessons are always being learned. Sometimes growth comes in feast or famine proportions.
Recently, I've experienced so much of this. Stagnancy met with abundant life, good and hard days back-to-back, and more than anything, learning so much by walking with God. When you think about it, it's crazy that we get to walk with Him. Day in and day out. Forever. I feel like that is something He has been speaking to me over the past months. At first, I thought it was more of a literal answer confirming a rather big dream of mine-- walking 500 miles on a trail in Spain. But over time, I've seen that He just wants me (us!) to walk with Him, taking each day as it comes, and entering into friendship with Him.
Even in the past couple of weeks, situations have arisen in my life and heart that have required so much trust in Him. The grass looked greener elsewhere and everything in me was gripping the stubborn desire to have my way. The more unlikely it looked, the tighter I clung. Everywhere I looked, a good outcome seemed impossible, or at least highly unfeasible. And slowly, but very clearly, He showed me His unmistakable goodness. He reminded me of the story of Abraham and Isaac. I dug into it and He overcame my heart with hope as I studied this story of how Abraham made the biggest sacrifice he could have made, trusting God to provide as he followed with unflinching obedience. And when God saw that his heart was willing and his hands were open, He provided another way. Jehovah Jireh-- what a provider. In the midst of this learning process, He gently pried my hands open and through a series of events, gave me peace beyond comprehension. When all I wanted to do was to have my way, whatever it took, He moved in my heart, conformed my desires to His, and gave me the sweetest assurance of His good plans for my life.
"I guess it's funny, this twofold irony: greatest victory in my own defeat." (Roo Panes) It's true. When His purposes prevail, there is victory, no matter what state we're in or how far we land from our own plans. I'd encourage you to step out and trust Him, friends, and have your mind blown! I have a white knuckled grip like no other and have stuck to it. But the greatest joy I've experienced has come when I've trusted Him to pry my hands open and show me what I couldn't see. Watching Him provide in tangible, practical, and larger-than-life ways is so good.
In various breakdown, freak-out moments, I've also come to realize that I don't know what I want to do with my life. Relatable? It's hard to make heads or tails of our passion, skills, timelines, practicality, finances, and unknown factors of the future. Finally, I hit a point where I realized that the Lord isn't asking us to figure it all out. He never said "tomorrow is the day I have made; rejoice and be glad in it!" He said that of today. He calls us to faithfulness today and trust in Him for tomorrow. All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be. Psalm 139:16
He will provide.
He will heal.
He will lead.
He is good.
Yes, surely, He is good.
